Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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