yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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