id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
