I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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