last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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