I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
and you fell through a lawn chair
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
