the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
