"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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