hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
