His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
