This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
