Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick

(972): View more from Texas

please tell me you have proof of this

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(310): View more from California

Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.

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(251): View more from Alabama

I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost

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(919): View more from North Carolina

If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.

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(214): View more from Texas

The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...

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(815): View more from Illinois

I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.

(1-815): View more from Illinois

You gift wrapped a tampon.

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(424): View more from California

Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.

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