you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
