Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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