I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
