turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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