So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
