bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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