Can Purell be used as lube?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
