I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
