dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
