I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
