You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
