apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
