I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
His nipple licking is glorious
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