judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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