What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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