Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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