I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
