Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
