There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My dad just said "fuck circus"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
