And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
