I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
