dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My liver is preforming stress tests.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
