Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
