I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
