dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
