i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
