i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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