I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
