There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
