peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
