I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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