If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
