I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
