Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
