You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
