Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
