belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
