i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
