Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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