Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Randomize
